Pilot Life 101

I’ve joked around with my friends about starting a pilot-wife social media page and after really putting some thought into it, I realized I’d rather write about it than make short form videos or posts. At first, Pilot Life seems really neat, it involves constantly traveling to different places, staying in nice hotels, getting flight benefits so you can fly anywhere for almost free. I remember talking to my pilot (who will be referred to as L from now on for privacy’s sake) when he had just started with his first airline and he was telling myself and some friends about getting per diem and the different places he was getting to go, and when we expressed how neat that was, he responded, “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” Cut to a few months later, I made a comment to him about his job and he admitted, “Actually it kind of really sucks.” You’re traveling to different places but you’re only really there for 12-24 hours, you’re with the same captain or first officer the whole trip, so if you don’t get along super well or they don’t want to hang out with you, you’re spending 3-4 days by yourself, hotels get old after awhile, and while the flight benefits are nice, it is standby flying, so you’re only getting on the plane if there are enough open seats.

Being the partner of a pilot also has challenges, I was so smug at first when we first started dating that my boyfriend was a real commercial pilot, and then a few months later realizing that it really wasn’t that cool anymore. Our situation had some added difficulties because we were long distance for the first 3 years of our relationship, and I remember the moment I realized that even once we were finally together in the same city, L would still be gone almost 50% of the time. I had always pictured myself with someone who had a regular 9-5 job, so it was difficult to accept that my reality was not going to be coming home to a partner and having dinner every night together. There are also just really practical issues to work through, like dividing domestic tasks and balancing your relationship with building a social life together.

I don’t want this to be a doom and gloom space, I really do love my pilot and we have been able to share some really neat experiences with each other because of his job. My goal with this space is to give people a glimpse into what life really looks like for families of pilots because we do get a lot questions when we’re meeting people and they find out my partner is a pilot.

Here is a quick run down of our FAQS:

1. Does he fly the same routes every time?

No, scheduling for airlines is super complicated and while he does prioritize trips with certain overnights to see family and friends, it’s not the same exact trip every time.

2. How does scheduling for airlines work?

Every month, he spends at least an hour putting in his scheduling bids, where he gives the company different versions of schedules he wants, and then trips and schedules are given out based on seniority. There is also the ability to trade trips, so L will often show me a trade he wants to make and double check that it doesn’t interfere with our schedules before requesting the trade. Trades are processed at certain times so after the processing period, he’ll check and see if his trades went through.

3. Do I get to go on trips with him?

I have tagged along on trips with him in the past and enjoy doing so. I do work so if there’s a trip he thinks I would enjoy being on, he gives me a heads up so I can make arrangements with work to be able to go with him. Honestly, there are only a handful of trips that are “worth” tagging along on, a lot of his overnights are like, 15 hours in Reno, NV or San Antonio, TX. Often times, he just wants to eat and sleep and me being there would make things more difficult. I also don’t purchase tickets to go with him on trips, so I am flying standby and only able to get on the plane when there is space available.

4. How do we divide domestic labor?

Obviously, L cannot take out the trash and do the dishes when he is not at home, so a lot of maintaining chores- like doing the dishes, taking out the trash, general tidying- falls to me, while he does a lot of the bigger cleaning projects when he is home but I am at work.

5. Do you miss him when he’s gone?

Obviously, YES. It is still a little sad when he leaves for a few days, but I do appreciate time to myself.

6. Do you live in a base city or does he commute?

When we were at a point where we were planning to finally move to a city together so we wouldn’t be long distance anymore, we decided to move to a base city so that L wouldn’t have to commute, but we hated being away from the friends we had in the city I had been living in, and the cost of living and housing prices were so high that we decided to move back to where I had been living and L would commute.

I know my answers are a bit brief, but I will be expanding these answers in future posts. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I am excited to develop this space and to share more about our lifestyle and experiences!